I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
