So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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