I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
