you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
