peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.