Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
