He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
