You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
