The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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