Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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