In the future we'll all be gay
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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