It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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