so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
