This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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