oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
