even my farts smell like vagina
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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