I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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