We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
