hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
