If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
