im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
