what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
