You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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