so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
