hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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