K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
