Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Randomize
