Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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