Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!