Texts From Last Night

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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.

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  (+27): I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork. http://tfl.nu/lbeq
  Replies (20) Good night (2766) Bad night (636)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.

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  (618): id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga. http://tfl.nu/30m7
  Replies (37) Good night (2575) Bad night (601)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.

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  (504): Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid. http://tfl.nu/2kcb
  Replies (20) Good night (801) Bad night (4275)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8261) Bad night (656)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother

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  (404): we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother http://tfl.nu/qg9n
  Replies (14) Good night (5023) Bad night (969)
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  (818): View more from California

  I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.

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  (818): I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning. http://tfl.nu/ecmy
  Replies (23) Good night (3214) Bad night (896)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.

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  (914): So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great. http://tfl.nu/w708
  Replies (8) Good night (2769) Bad night (870)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep

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  (513): He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep http://tfl.nu/uxq8
  Replies (4) Good night (3297) Bad night (844)
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  (909): View more from California

  At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains

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  (909): At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains http://tfl.nu/rchm
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (2285)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.

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  (717): i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego. http://tfl.nu/vgwh
  Replies (20) Good night (4641) Bad night (1225)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed

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  (630): the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed http://tfl.nu/eaof
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (1619)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

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  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (6) Good night (1651) Bad night (395)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.

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  (901): I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/oaek
  Replies (6) Good night (1387) Bad night (483)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?

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  (813): Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating? http://tfl.nu/e7er
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (269)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music

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  (405): My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music http://tfl.nu/k5xa
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (211)

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