idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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