belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
