don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
