So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
