You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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