She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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