he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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