My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
