I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
