I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
