just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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