why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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