dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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