First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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