Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize