She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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