Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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