I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
