Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
