Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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