I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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