ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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