i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
