he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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